The Social Media Machine and Why You Don't See Me There Much

Social media can be one of the most brilliant tools we have. 

It can spark connection, creativity and visibility.

It gives us ways to share our voice, our art and our working in ways that we never thought possible 20 years ago.

And I’ve used it for all of those things for which I’m grateful.

My daughter sends me the most hilarious reels all the time. 

But now I honestly think it has changed in so many ways, and it doesn’t feel good for me personally. What once felt like a space for meaningful connection has, in many ways, become a machine - one that feeds on performance, algorithms, and constant output.

Where presence is often mistaken for relevance, and “success” is measured in likes, reach, and revenue.

It’s not that it’s all bad -it’s that it’s imbalanced.

And for those of us doing inner work, holding space, or walking a path of healing or service, it can start to feel off.

Healing work isn’t built for the machine, because supporting others through transformation requires presence and care.

It’s deeply relational, often slow, and rarely linear.

It’s the opposite of content creation.

But the machine is always asking us to package and promote our offerings in ways that are polished and easy to consume. 

To always have something new, something next, something more.

And this is where it just doesn’t sit right with me, anymore.

Because self growth and self awareness aren’t all gain, glow-ups and breakthroughs.

They also include grief, doubt, fatigue and integration.

And experiences that don’t always fit neatly into a carousel.

And when I try to force my work, insights or reflections into a format, it doesn’t feel real or authentic.

The more time I spend away from social media, the more I’ve noticed how much of it runs on external validation.

I’ve observed that the more I post, the more I tend to start looking outside of myself for validation.

How many likes or comments did it get?  How many views did it get? Did people like it? What else can I post?

I’ve also noticed, that when I spend too much time scrolling, my mind gets noisy, my energy scatters and my sense of centre gets pulled outward.

And when I start getting caught up in all that, that’s when I know I have to come back and remind myself that true work is validated by its integrity. Not its reach.  

And, this may or may not be rewarded by the machine, but I choose to show up anyway.

People always ask me why I’m not online more - Why I don’t post more on social media, why I don’t offer online classes and why social media grates on me so much.

And the answer is simple.

I’d rather be in the room. With real people. In real time.

All of my offerings grow in the soil of lived experience, not trending cycles.

The way I measure success is not by likes or followers or money in my bank but by the depth, care and integrity I bring to my work and my life.

I will never sacrifice that for reach or relevance. 

My blog and my newsletter are the spaces where I share the most because they are quieter and more spacious and I don’t feel like there is any pressure to perform or post at pace.

Soon,  I will start sharing my work on substack which I believe is becoming a platform designed for depth, storytelling and nuance. 

As more and more people feel the fatigue of social media, we are choosing spaces like this where we return to something more human away from the churn of the social media machine.

Because this human, heart-centred work was never meant to feed a machine it was truly meant to slow us down not speed us up.

With love and care on your path.