What Does Holding Space Mean?

This term has become over-saturated and homogenised in spiritual wellness spaces and it’s something I write about in my book The Duty Of Care.

So the question is this: what does “holding space” actually mean and what does it require?

In The Duty Of Care, I talk about creating a safe container and the metaphor of the scaffolding of care. 

To explain - consider this -  A house without scaffolding is unstable and unsafe. It might look beautiful on the outside with all the right aesthetics, but when the wind or rain comes it will not withstand the pressure and will most likely collapse. This is the same when we are holding a container in the work that we offer,  especially when people are feeling vulnerable or are processing grief or trauma. If there is not an intentional scaffolding of care, people and their nervous systems will collapse and they will often walk away from our spaces feeling exposed, confused or dysregulated.

 The exact opposite of how we want them to feel.

I have personally experienced containers that were assumed to be safe but were not resourced. This often shows up as lack of community agreements, time-boundaries, consent, integration and after-care protocols.

Holding space means:

That we show up without personal agenda and meet each person where they are.

It is the willingness to walk alongside another person without judging them or making them feel inadequate or wrong in any way.

We do not need to have the perfect advice or to fix, rescue or diagnose someone’s experience.

It means that we open our hearts and support people in their own process whether it be grief, growth or trauma.

It means that we offer gentle guidance and give people permission to trust their own intuition and inner knowing.

It means that we show up for them and respect and honour their differences whether cultural, religious or personal.

Holding space requires safety, so the mind, body and nervous system can relax. 

Safety is built by:

Establishing group agreements such as confidentiality, consent, and responsibility for own self-care

Setting an intention for the group

Time- boundaries when sharing 

No sharing outside the group 

It is only when we build containers of intentional care and nervous system safety that we can make a real and lasting difference in peoples lives. 

Safety is a felt sense that we create for the people that we hold space for and it is only when we offer these kind of spaces that people will leave feeling stronger and resourced enough to move back into their lives, with the capacity to keep carrying the slow, steady work of healing forward, knowing that they are never alone.