Trusting Joy

It’s taken me a long time

to trust joy.

When there is so much suffering in the world,

so many lives woven with loss,

it can feel almost careless

to be happy.

I’ve been clumsy with joy.

Suspicious of its arrival,

afraid to let it stay,

as though I were somehow unworthy of it.

But lately

I’ve been finding it in unexpected places:

my new grandbaby,

tending to my roses,

my herb garden,

the ordinary moments of a day.

I’m learning that joy doesn’t need to be justified,

and that delight is not a betrayal

of those who are suffering.

I’m learning to be brave with happiness,

to stop waiting for something to go wrong,

to let myself belong to the good things.

By Tanya Cameron